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gentler one。 Unfortable now； she bent for her towel and straightened
holding it tight。 〃You could have called if you wanted to discuss the
Rye Beach plex。 Nothing much will happen until the referendum in
November。 Unless； of course； you alter your proposal。〃 Satisfied with
her minor dig； she began to mop her face and neck。 Ross ignored the
barb。 〃I'm not here on business。 I came to see you。〃
〃That's a mistake；〃 she whispered； hearing pain； feeling pain。 He
replied as softly。 〃Then again we differ in opinion。〃 He sighed。 〃Look；
can we walk？ Your house seemed pretty crowded。 I'd like to talk。〃
All too aware of a tingling inside； she shook her head； then tore her
gaze from his and looked out to sea。 〃It's not a good idea。〃
〃Just talk？〃
〃Fine； if it has to do with the plex。 Anything else 。。。〃
〃What are you afraid of？〃 he asked。 〃I see the same fear in you now that
I saw two weeks ago。 What is it？〃
She shot him a chiding look that said You're imagining it； I'm not
afraid of a thing。
〃Then what can be the harm in talking？ What can be so awful about
walking along the beach with me for a few minutes？〃 He tossed his dark
head back toward the house。 〃You have a whole crew in there just waiting
to e if you scream。〃
〃I won't scream。〃 She spoke softly； blushed lightly。 〃It's not my
style。〃
He studied her for what seemed an eternity。 〃Maybe that's your problem；〃
he finally decided。 〃You're too posed。 Maybe you need a good yell and
scream to let it all out。〃
〃Let what all out？〃
He took her arm。 〃e on。 Let's take a walk。〃 He pulled her gently into
step beside him； and she went along。 After all； what harm could e
from a walk on the beach？
One fast glance at Ross supplied an answer。 The magism was there in
all its force； ing from him； tugging at her。 If only they had never
met before； if only they didn't have a past； there might have been hope。
〃What if；〃 he echoed her thoughts with uncanny precision； 〃we had never
met before？ Would you feel differently？〃
〃Maybe。〃 She clutched the ends of the towel that circled her neck。
〃Would you？〃 some inner voice made her ask。
〃No。〃 There was no hesitancy in his response。 〃I saw a woman two weeks
ago who interested me。 I would be here regardless。 It's just。。 。〃
As Chloe waited for his voice to pick up again； their paths crisscrossed
her earlier footprints。 Ross easily measured his pace to hers。 〃It's
just what？〃 she prodded。
He stopped walking。 She went a step farther； then turned to face him。 He
frowned； seeming deliberative。 〃It's just that after what happened
eleven years ago； I feel even more justified。。 。〃
Her voice rose； as it often did when she was distressed。 〃Are you saying
you feel guilty so long after the fact？ Is that why you've e？ To ease
some long…harbored guilt？ Where were you then？〃 she cried。 〃Where were
you when I…〃
She cut herself off。 For the very first time she wondered what might
have happened had Ross been with her at the time of Crystal's death。 It
had been late Saturday night； two days after Thanksgiving； when she and
Crystal argued； Crystal raced off in her car； the accident happened。 By
that time Ross was on his way back to Africa。 What if he had been with
her through the ordeal？ Would things have been different？
But he hadn't been with her。 There was no changing that fact。 She had
survived。 She had survived。 Not Crystal； though。
When she closed her eyes for a moment in search of posure； Ross took
her arm and said a quick； 〃Over there。 Those rocks。 You should sit
down。〃
〃I'm all right…〃
〃Then I want to sit down！ Indulge me！〃 He led her to a jagged
outcropping of rocks。 When they were seated on side by side boulders； he
said； 〃Okay。 Why don't you tell me about that night…and stop looking at
me like I'm crazy。 You know what I'm talking about。 I know what I
experienced that night。 I'd like to hear what you did。〃
〃Oh； Ross。〃 She sighed wearily。 〃I don't want to go into this。〃 She
caught the graceful takeoff of a tern from the salt…soaked beach。 〃It's
too beautiful here to rehash the past。〃
〃The past had its moments of beauty； too。〃
Her head snapped back； but the warmth of his gaze cut off the retort
that might have e。 Suddenly it seemed pointless to resist his
request。 It was just a matter of choosing the right words。 〃The past did
have its moments。 And； yes； they were beautiful。〃 There was a soft
quality in her voice as she returned to that night。
Ross grasped the stone on either side of him。 〃Had you planned it to
happen？ When you came toward me from across that room； had you hoped
that we'd end up in bed？〃
〃Beforehand？〃 She looked up in surprise。 〃No。 I'd never done anything
like that before。 Oh； we dated plenty and went to our share of parties。
But we had never； that is； neither of us had； ah； I mean； I had never。。
。〃
〃I know。〃 He rescued her from her floundering； daring to touch her cheek
with the back of his fingers。 Instinctively she tipped her face toward
his touch； then caught herself and righted her head。
〃Were you sorry you did it？〃 His voice was low； urgent。
〃No 。。。 Yes 。。。 I don't know；〃 she finally ended in a whisper； tugging
at the towel draped about her neck。 〃I can't give you a simple yes or
no。 I've never regretted the act itself It was beautiful。〃
〃Then what is it about me that makes you so unfortable？〃
The ensuing silence was rich with the sounds of the shore…the lapping of
the waves； the cry of the gulls； the rustle of the breeze in the drying
leaves of the wild honeysuckle。 Each had the potential to soothe； yet
Chloe remained tense。
〃Seeing you；〃 she finally confessed； 〃brings back memories of a holiday
weekend that was tragic for me。〃
〃Your sister's death。〃
Her eyes shot to his。 〃You knew？〃 And hadn't tried to contact her？
The dark sheen of his hair captured the golden rays of the slow…setting
sun。 〃Yes； I knew； but not until long after I'd returned to Africa。 I
didn't feel then that it was my place to contact you。〃
〃Why not？〃 She didn't understand that detachment。 He was certainly
persistent enough now。
〃In the first place；〃 he began； 〃it was pitiful； how long after the fact
I learned of it。 Sammy wrote me the news in a letter the following
spring。〃
He seemed to hesitate。 More quietly； he said； 〃It was only then that I'd
had the guts to ask him about you。〃
〃But why？〃 she cried。
〃Because you weren't the only one to have afterthoughts of that night！
From what I could see I had seduced the virgin daughter of my host's
best friend。 I was twenty…seven。 You were eighteen。 I should have known
better。 But the worst of it was that I was glad I hadn't。〃 His voice
gentled。 〃The memory of that night helped me through many a lonely night
afterward。〃
〃Oh； Ross；〃 Chloe whispered； feeling a great longing inside。 〃I wish it
hadn't。 It's too late to go back。〃
〃I don't want to go back。 I want to go ahead。 That's why I'm here。〃
Anguished； she looked down。 〃It's no good。 I can't。〃
〃Can't or won't？ We've been through this before。 Well；〃 he drew in a
breath； 〃believe this。 I may have been immature eleven years ago；
running away from something that frightened me； but I won't make the
same mistake twice。 It was fate that brought us together up at Rye
Beach； and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you get away。 I've made it
my business to find out every possible thing I could about you during
the past two weeks。 And I know what happened to Crystal。〃
His words hung in the air。 Her eyes begged him to say no more。 She
bolstered the plea with her low whisper。 〃Then you can understand why I
can't bear to think back on that time。〃
〃It was an accident； Chloe！ It wasn't your fault！〃
〃But she died。〃
〃And you lived； is that it？ You can't forgive yourself for that？〃
She jumped to her feet。 With her heart pounding a thunderous beat； she
stared at him for an agonized moment before forcing her feet to move。
Her steps were slow at first； then gained speed as the force of habit
took over and she jogged toward safer ground。
With pitiful ease； Ross caught up。 He caught her elbow； using her own
momentum to bring her around。 When she faced him at a full stop； he held
her by b