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apologized each time I screamed。
“Edward wasn’t happy。 I remember hearing them discuss me。 I stopped screaming sometimes。 It did no
good to scream。
“‘What were you thinking； Carlisle？’ Edward said。 ‘Rosalie Hale？’” Rosalie imitated Edward’s irritated
tone to perfection。 “I didn’t like the way he said my name； like there was something wrong with me。
“‘I couldn’t just let her die；’ Carlisle said quietly。 ‘It was too much — too horrible； too much waste。’
“‘I know；’ Edward said； and I thought he sounded dismissive。 It angered me。 I didn’t know then that he
really could see exactly what Carlisle had seen。
“‘It was too much waste。 I couldn’t leave her；’ Carlisle repeated in a whisper。
“‘Of course you couldn’t；’ Esme agreed。
“‘People die all the time；’ Edward reminded him in a hard voice。 ‘Don’t you think she’s just a little
recognizable； though？ The Kings will have to put up a huge search — not that anyone suspects the fiend；’ he
growled。
“It pleased me that they seemed to know that Royce was guilty。
“I didn’t realize that it was almost over — that I was getting stronger and that was why I was able to
concentrate on what they were saying。 The pain was beginning to fade from my fingertips。
“‘What are we going to do with her？’ Edward said disgustedly — or that’s how it sounded to me； at least。
“Carlisle sighed。 ‘That’s up to her； of course。 She may want to go her own way。’
“I’d believed enough of what he’d told me that his words terrified me。 I knew that my life was ended； and
there was no going back for me。 I couldn’t stand the thought of being alone。 。 。 。
“The pain finally ended and they explained to me again what I was。 This time I believed。 I felt the thirst； my
hard skin； I saw my brilliant red eyes。
“Shallow as I was； I felt better when I saw my reflection in the mirror the first time。 Despite the eyes； I was
the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen。” She laughed at herself for a moment。 “It took some time before I began
to blame the beauty for what had happened to me — for me to see the curse of it。 To wish that I had been 。 。 。
well； not ugly； but normal。 Like Vera。 So I could have been allowed to marry someone who loved me； and
have pretty babies。 That’s what I’d really wanted； all along。 It still doesn’t seem like too much to have asked
for。”
She was thoughtful for a moment； and I wondered if she’d forgotten my presence again。 But then she
smiled at me； her expression suddenly triumphant。
“You know； my record is almost as clean as Carlisle’s；” she told me。 “Better than Esme。 A thousand times
better than Edward。 I’ve never tasted human blood；” she announced proudly。
She understood my puzzled expression as I wondered why her record was only almost as clean。
“I did murder five humans；” she told me in a placent tone。 “If you can really call them human。 But I
was very careful not to spill their blood — I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist that； and I didn’t want any part
of them in me； you see。
“I saved Royce for last。 I hoped that he would hear of his friends’ deaths and understand； know what was
ing for him。 I hoped the fear would make the end worse for him。 I think it worked。 He was hiding inside a
windowless room behind a door as thick as a bank vault’s； guarded outside by armed men； when I caught up
with him。 Oops — seven murders；” she corrected herself。 “I forgot about his guards。 They only took a
second。”
“I was overly theatrical。 It was kind of childish； really。 I wore a wedding dress I’d stolen for the occasion。
He screamed when he saw me。 He screamed a lot that night。 Saving him for last was a good idea — it made it
easier for me to control myself； to make it slower —”
She broke off suddenly； and she glanced down at me。 “I’m sorry；” she said in a chagrined voice。 “I’m
frightening you； aren’t I？”
“I’m fine；” I lied。
“I got carried away。”
“Don’t worry about it。”
“I’m surprised Edward didn’t tell you more about it。”
“He doesn’t like to tell other people’s stories — he feels like he’s betraying confidences； because he hears
so much more than just the parts they mean for him to hear。”
She smiled and shook her head。 “I probably ought to give him more credit。 He’s really quite decent； isn’t
he？”
“I think so。”
“I can tell。” Then she sighed。 “I haven’t been fair to you； either； Bella。 Did he tell you why？ Or was that
too confidential？”
“He said it was because I was human。 He said it was harder for you to have someone on the outside who
knew。”
Rosalie’s musical laughter interrupted me。 “Now I really feel guilty。 He’s been much； much kinder to me
than I deserve。” She seemed warmer as she laughed； like she’d let down some guard that had never been
absent in my presence before。 “What a liar that boy is。” She laughed again。
“He was lying？” I asked； suddenly wary。
“Well； that’s probably putting it too strongly。 He just didn’t tell you the whole story。 What he told you was
true； even truer now than it was before。 However； at the time 。 。 。” She broke off； chuckling nervously。 “It’s
embarrassing。 You see； at first； I was mostly jealous because he wanted you and not me。”
Her words sent a thrill of fear through me。 Sitting there in the silver light； she was more beautiful than
anything else I could imagine。 I could not pete with Rosalie。
“But you love Emmett 。 。 。 ；” I mumbled。
She shook her head back and forth； amused。 “I don’t want Edward that way； Bella。 I never did — I love
him as a brother； but he’s irritated me from the first moment I heard him speak。 You have to understand；
though 。 。 。 I was so used to people wanting me。 And Edward wasn’t the least bit interested。 It frustrated me；
even offended me in the beginning。 But he never wanted anyone； so it didn’t bother me long。 Even when we
first met Tanya’s clan in Denali — all those females！ — Edward never showed the slightest preference。 And
then he met you。” She looked at me with confused eyes。 I was only half paying attention。 I was thinking about
Edward and Tanya and all those females； and my lips pressed together in a hard line。
“Not that you aren’t pretty； Bella；” she said； misreading my expression。 “But it just meant that he found
you more attractive than me。 I’m vain enough that I minded。”
“But you said ‘at first。’ That doesn’t still 。 。 。 bother you； does it？ I mean； we both know you’re the most
beautiful person on the pla。”
I laughed at having to say the words — it was so obvious。 How odd that Rosalie should need such
reassurances。
Rosalie laughed； too。 “Thanks； Bella。 And no； it doesn’t really bother me anymore。 Edward has always
been a little strange。” She laughed again。
“But you still don’t like me；” I whispered。
Her smile faded。 “I’m sorry about that。”
We sat in silence for a moment； and she didn’t seem inclined to go on。
“Would you tell me why？ Did I do something 。 。 。 ？” Was she angry that I’d put her family — her Emmett
— in danger？ Time and time again。 James； and now Victoria 。 。 。
“No； you haven’t done anything；” she murmured。 “Not yet。”
I stared at her； perplexed。
“Don’t you see； Bella？” Her voice was suddenly more passionate than before； even while she’d told her
unhappy story。 “You already have everything。 You have a whole life ahead of you — everything I want。 And
you’re going to just throw it away。 Can’t you see that I’d trade everything I have to be you？ You have the
choice that I didn’t have； and you’re choosing wrong！”
I flinched back from her fierce expression。 I realized my mouth had fallen open and I snapped it shut。
She stared at me for a long moment and； slowly； the fervor in her eyes dimmed。 Abruptly； she was
abashed。
“And I was so sure that I could do this calmly。” She shook her head； seeming a little dazed by the flood of
emotion。 “It’s just that it’s harder now than it was then； when it was no more than vanity。”
She stared at the moon in silence。 It was a few moments before I was brave enough to break into her
reverie。
“Would you like me better if I