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the reason your hair stands on end when you smell me。 They are the substance of your nightmares； the
dread behind your instincts。 I'm not unaware of that。〃
〃And you take her to them like a bottle of wine for a party！〃 he shouted。
〃You think she'd be better off if I left her here alone； with Victoria stalking her？〃
〃We can handle the redhead。〃
〃Then why is she still hunting？〃
Jacob growled； and a shudder rippled through his torso。
〃Stop that！〃 I shouted at them both； wild with impatience。 〃Argue when we get back； let's go！〃
Alice turned for the car； disappearing in her haste。 I hurried after her； pausing automatically to turn and
lock the door。
Jacob caught my arm with a shivering hand。 〃Please； Bella。 I'm begging。〃
His dark eyes were glistening with tears。 A lump filled my throat。
〃Jake； I have to—〃
〃You don't； though。 You really don't。 You could stay here with me。 You could stay alive。 For Charlie。
For me。〃
The engine of Carlisle's Mercedes purred； the rhythm of the thrumming spiked when Alice revved it
impatiently。
I shook my head； tears spattering from my eyes with the sharp motion。 I pulled my arm free； and he
didn't fight me。
〃Don't die； Bella；〃 he choked out。 〃Don't go。 Don't。〃
What if I never saw him again？
The thought pushed me past the silent tears； a sob broke out from my chest。 I threw my arms around his
waist and hugged for one tooshort moment； burying my tearwet face against his chest。 He put his big
hand on the back of my hair； as if to hold me there。
〃Bye； Jake。〃 I pulled his hand from my hair； and kissed his palm。 I couldn't bear to look at his face。
〃Sorry；〃 I whispered。
Then I spun and raced for the car。 The door on the passenger side was open and waiting。 I threw my
backpack over the headrest and slid in； slamming the door behind me。
〃Take care of Charlie！〃 I turned to shout out the window； but Jacob was nowhere in sight。 As Alice
stomped on the gas and—with the tires screeching like human screams—spun us around to face the
road； I caught sight of a shred of white near the edge of the trees。 A piece of a shoe。
19。 HATE
WE MADE OUR FLIGHT WITH SECONDS TO SPARE； AND THEN the true torture began。 The
plane sat idle on the tarmac while the flight attendants strolled—so casually—up and down the aisle；
patting the bags in the overhead partments to make sure everything fit。 The pilots leaned out of the
cockpit； chatting with them as they passed。 Alice's hand was hard on my shoulder； holding me in my seat
while I bounced anxiously up and down。
〃It's faster than running；〃 she reminded me in a low voice。
I just nodded in time with my bouncing。
At last the plane rolled lazily from the gate； building speed with a gradual steadiness that tortured me
further。 I expected some kind of relief when we achieved liftoff； but my frenzied impatience didn't lessen。
Alice lifted the phone on the back of the seat in front of her before we'd stopped climbing； turning her
back on the stewardess who eyed her with disapproval。 Something about my expression stopped the
stewardess from ing over to protest。
I tried to tune out what Alice was murmuring to Jasper； I didn't want to hear the words again； but some
slipped through。
〃I can't be sure； I keep seeing him do different things； he keeps changing his mind… A killing spree
through the city； attacking the guard； lifting a car over his head in the main square… mostly things that
would expose them—he knows that's the fastest way to force a reaction…〃
〃No； you can't。〃 Alice's voice dropped till it was nearly inaudible； though I was sitting inches from her。
Contrarily； I listened harder。 〃Tell Emmett no… Well； go after Emmett and Rosalie and bring them
back… Think about it； Jasper。 If he sees any of us； what do you think he will do？〃
She nodded。 〃Exactly。 I think Bella is the only chance—if there is a chance… I'll do everything that can
be done； but prepare Carlisle； the odds aren't good。〃
She laughed then； and there was a catch in her voice。 〃I've thought of that… Yes； I promise。〃 Her voice
became pleading。 〃Don't follow me。 I promise； Jasper。 One way or another； I'll get out… And I love
you。〃
She hung up； and leaned back in her seat with her eyes closed。 〃I hate lying to him。〃
〃Tell me everything； Alice；〃 I begged。 〃I don't understand。 Why did you tell Jasper to stop Emmett； why
can't they e help us？〃
〃Two reasons；〃 she whispered； her eyes still closed。 〃The first I told him。 We could try to stop Edward
ourselves—if Emmett could get his hands on him； we might be able to stop him long enough to convince
him you're alive。 But we can't sneak up on Edward。 And if he sees us ing for him； he'll just act that
much faster。 He'll throw a Buiclc through a wall or something； and the Volturi will take him down。
〃That's the second reason of course； the reason I couldn't say to Jasper。 Because if they're there and the
Volturi kill Edward； they'll fight them。 Bella。〃 She opened her eyes and stared at me； beseeching。 〃If there
were any chance we could win… if there were a way that the four of us could save my brother by
fighting for him； maybe it would be different。 But we can't； and； Bella； I can't lose Jasper like that。〃
I realized why her eyes begged for my understanding。 She was protecting Jasper； at our expense； and
maybe at Edward's； too。 I understood； and I did not think badly of her。 I nodded。
〃Couldn't Edward hear you； though。'〃 I asked。 〃Wouldn't he know； as soon as he heard your thoughts；
that I was alive； that there was no point to this？〃
Not that there was any justification； either way。 I still couldn't believe that he was capable of reacting like
this。 It made no sense！ I remembered with painful clarity his words that day on the sofa； while we
watched Romeo and Juliet kill themselves； one after the other。 I wasn't going to live without you； he'd
said； as if it should be such an obvious conclusion。 But the words he had spoken in the forest as he'd left
me had canceled all that out—forcefully。
〃If he were listening；〃 she explained。 〃But believe it or not； it's possible to lie with your thoughts。 If you
had died； I would still try to stop him。 And I would be thinking 'she's alive； she's alive' as hard as I could。
He knows that。〃
I ground my teeth in mute frustration。
〃If there were any way to do this without you； Bella； I wouldn't be endangering you like this。 It's very
wrong of me。〃
〃Don't be stupid。 I'm the last thing you should be worrying about。〃 I shook my head impatiently。 〃Tell me
what you meant； about hating to lie to Jasper。〃
She smiled a grim smile。 〃I promised him I would get out before they killed me； too。 It's not something I
can guarantee—not by a long shot。〃 She raised her eyebrows； as if willing me to take the danger more
seriously。
〃Who are these Volturi？〃 I demanded in a whisper。 〃What makes them so much more dangerous than
Emmett； Jasper； Rosalie； and you？〃 It was hard to imagine something scarier than that。
She took a deep breath； and then abruptly leveled a dark glance over my shoulder。 I turned in time to see
the man in the aisle seat looking away as if he wasn't listening to us。 He appeared to be a businessman； in
a dark suit with a power tie and a laptop on his knees。 While I stared at him with irritation； he opened the
puter and very conspicuously put headphones on。
I leaned closer to Alice。 Her lips were at my ears as she breathed the story。
〃I was surprised that you recognized the name；〃 she said。 〃That you understood so immediately what it
meant—when I said he was going to Italy。 I thought I would have to explain。 How much did Edward tell
you？〃
〃He just said they were an old； powerful family—like royalty。 That you didn't antagonize them unless you
wanted to… die；〃 I whispered。 The last word was hard to choke out。
〃You have to understand；〃 she said； her voice slower； more measured now。 〃We Cullens are unique in
more ways than you know。 It's… abnormal for so many of us to live together in peace。 It's the same for
Tanya's family in the north； and Carl